Justin Bieber Likes the Cougars?

Okay, so I'm reading some news (and apparently this qualifies as news) and this immediately caught my eye.

Teenage pop star Justin Bieber is happy to date older ladies - as long as they are not over the age of 40.

The 16-year-old singer admits an age gap in a relationship wouldn't bother him, and he would be willing to romance women who are up to 20 years older than he is.

He tells ShowbizSpy.com, "Anything abouve 40 is a little too old for me. I just look for a girl who is funny and has nice eyes and a smile."

And U.S. socialite Kim Kardashian is currently top of his list - at the age of 29, she fits his criteria.

He adds, "I think she's cute. And, no, she's not too old for me."

(Courtesy of Canoe.ca)

SRSLY?

I read that and initially thought, 'How old is Justin Bieber?' (I refuse to care about this prepubescent pipsqueak.) Justin Bieber is 16, and by the constant look on his face, has never seen a vagina up close. I would assume that Kim Kardashian's vagina has seen more penis than my mouth which automatically makes her quite extremely experienced. (It gets the bills paid. Don't judge me.) Personally, I wouldn't date anybody more than 8 years older than myself, because when your father is only 20 years older than you, it makes romancing cradle-robbers a really difficult task. But hey, what do I know? Celine Dion did it!

Murky.

So today is pretty murky outside. In case you were wondering, murky is a weather adjective that I have adopted recently.

For example:

Your fish tank is looking a little murky lately.

Have you been drinking? Your eyes are looking a little murky.

How's the weather outside? Looks a bit murky, if you ask me.

I'm not too confident that it's going to catch on, but you can't blame me for trying. Well, I suppose you could if the term murky started to describe serial killers, child molesters and rapists. If that ends up being the case, then you didn't hear it from me.

At Least I Can Laugh At Something

Extreme Makeover Ugly Edition

What ever happened to Extreme Makeover? I actually enjoyed watching moderately unattractive people achieve their 15 minutes while fulfilling a lifetime goal of looking like someone else. If I had to look like someone else I think I would choose Alexis Bledel.

All I need is a slight cleft chin and I'm not too far off.

Good Afternoon Internet!

Well, I imagine the 3 of you that are reading this want to know who I am and what this is about.

And just like a constipated shit, you'll have to wait.